Fun : )

I had fun yesterday and I’m going to have more today and my sole purpose in writing this post is to recommend to everyone else that they do the same. Make yourself smile, make someone else laugh, do something just because you can, but whatever you do, enjoy it. :)

For instance, yesterday I played dress up. Yes, I am twenty seven and no, I do not have any intention of growing out of dress up. Ever. :) This particular round was prompted by my amazing artist friend, Sara, who gifted me a very dangerous shade of red lipstick the last time I went to see her. This was the result . . .

It has been such a transition for me to go from being so incredibly tired all the time to having more energy that I had almost forgotten how easy it is to have a good time, even if you’re just hanging out at home alone. :) Not that you have to hang out at home alone, you could also hit the town with friends (which I also did yesterday :) and dance and laugh until you can’t do either anymore (thank you Hulie!!). I just can’t seem to stop soaking up all the things I couldn’t do before but suddenly find myself able to do again.

Like take my horse, Tristan, out for a spin. I haven’t ridden in four full months and I admit that last night I was a little nervous I would get up there and find out I was too weak to be safe riding by myself. But Tris took wonderful care of me as he picked his way through the moonlit field below our house while the dogs roamed through the darkness around us. Riding again felt incredible and in the peace and silence that surround my soul every time I ride that wonderful horse, I realized something. I am feeling very selfish with my time these days.

It isn’t a permanent change or a result of some new philosophy on life (although I’m going through and developing a few of those too). It’s just that it’s been so long since I’ve lived a single minute without the weight of cancer, my own fears, the fears of the people who love me, the responsibilities of my job, the weariness that permeated every fiber of my being . . . I find myself wanting to fly all the time, make myself laugh, give myself space and time and whatever freedoms that I can. There is a balance and I’ll find it again . . . as soon as I can get my head out of the clouds, my heart to stop singing, my soul to stop stretching and my body to quit begging for just one more taste of life. ; )

Advertisement