Awkward Girl Loses her List

So I woke up this morning and decided to make french chicken bake for dinner.  Its a delicious, but somewhat time consuming on the front end, casserole and Carl had already forgotten having it at my mom’s, but he loved it.  : )  I took my little notebook that my mom had copied all my favorite recipes into when I went to college and brought it with me to work so I could write out a grocery list of the things we didn’t already have at home.  Throughout the day when the phones were dead I put my list together and then when work got out I went straight to . . . Ross Dress for Less! But that’s another story.  After leaving Ross I went to Fred Meyer and opened my purse to retrieve my list only to discover it was missing!

I looked all over the cab, under the seats, dug through my purse twice and finally gave up.  I could only remember two of the six or so things that were on it which was very disheartening and on top of that I passed two different pairs of people in the store only to have them giggle as I walked by.  Its probably that junior high thing where when people giggle as you walk by you immediately begin wondering if you have a booger in your nose or a giant pimple on your face, but I started to feel extremely awkward.

It wasn’t until I became so awkward that I put my hands in my back pockets (an old, mostly gone habit) that I found my list, not in my pocket mind you, but stuck to my rear.  I wouldn’t doubt for a moment that it had been there ever since I got off work, meaning it went with me in Ross as well as Fred Meyer.  Thanks, Awkward Girl, Friday just wouldn’t be complete without you.  ; )

 

Awkward Girl: Amazes Even Herself . . .

Its been a rough month and yes, I am using that fact to account for every single one of my Awkward Girl moments for the past thirty days.  But if I have another day like Sunday, well, who am I kidding, I’m going to have a million other days like Sunday, if I didn’t, I just wouldn’t be Awkward Girl now would I?

It started sooooooo well!  I had high hopes, got up early and met my friend Tobo for bagels and coffee.  After coffee we just weren’t finished catching up so we went to Deja Vu where I spent a mere $37.50  for three pairs of pants, a skirt and three shirts!  Then we decided to go back to our respective houses and pack/unpack (she just moved too) with plans to meet up for a movie at 7:35 with our respective S.O.’s in tow.

When I got home around two p.m., Carl was just waking up.  We started getting all of our big stuff (beds, desk, etc) loaded into the landlord’s trailer and it quickly became apparent we would be cutting it close on time.  Then, when we were all set to go, we noticed the flat tire.  I should have realized then that things were about to take a nasty turn, but no no, I just laughed it off and we started filling the tire.  Carl made burritos and I spilled a nice big glob of beans and cheese on my shirt . . . this too should have been taken as a forewarning, but I just decided I would change when we got to the new house after we unloaded everything (all my clothes are there) and all would be well.

We left the house . . . and Carl hit the tree on his way out of the driveway.  *Sigh*  By now I knew what I was dealing with.  We finally got to the house at 7:00.  We unloaded two mattresses and box springs, one bed frame, seven pieces of a giant desk, the dresser and the rest of our dining room table like two whirling dervishes.  When we were done, I was bleeding in three different places and desperate to change so while Carl was wrapping up tie-downs, I went into the house and picked out some capris and a shirt changed, locked the door . . . turned around . . . and realized that the house key was in my pants pocket . . . of the pants that were lying on the floor at the bottom of the stairs.

So we called the landlord on our way to the movie (Zombieland is HILARIOUS! I love love love Woody Harrelson) and set up a time to meet with her, then we showed up ten minutes into the previews and when it was over booked it back to Ashland for Doug’s art auction at Liquid Assets.  We bid on a lovely painting that will hang in our kitchen by the end of this week!

Then we left there, went back to Medford so I could get the key and some work clothes, then we went back to Ashland and got in bed at what I thought was two a.m.  I got up for my first day of work on the phones at what I thought was 6:00a.m.  But nooooooooooooo, that kind of thing only happens to not-awkward girls.  This girl had accidentally put her alarm clock one hour ahead and gotten up at FIVE a.m., taken her shower and gotten ready for work before looking at her cell phone and realizing what happened.  So I got back in bed and got up again an hour later and had what could only be called a sub-par day at work.

When I walked out to my truck yesterday, I promised myself a full night’s sleep and that Awkward Girl was going to have to settle down.   

Today is a better day. : )

 

Awkward Girl: Answers the Phone

So we had our first, official, real, live call with an official, real, live, provider on Friday.  This awkward girl’s call lasted about ten minutes (that felt like ten lifetimes!), seven of which were hold and to compound matters, I think the person I was trying to help was new at her job too.  So we were both trying to help each other, but neither of us were exactly sure how to go about it.  In the end, I managed to answer her questions without any “ums” or “I thinks” and while I did put her on hold roughly eight times (unfortunately that’s not an exaggeration) I gave her the right information which is a plus, right?  : )

Monday in class training is over and we’re on the phones!  I’m actually excited, in spite of how stressful Friday turned out to be, I know that getting on the phones is the only way to understand call flow and get more confident in my quoting.  So bring on the providers!

 

Awkward Girl: A Reintroduction . . .

For those of you who read the old blog, you may recall my loveable screw-up of an alter ego Awkward Girl.  She is me in all my least flattering moments when grace, wit and logic desert me completely, leaving me to fend for myself.  The result is a series of awkward moments that keep me laughing at myself and keep my father wondering how I’m ever going to survive in the world, indeed how I even made it this far (twenty-five this month!) is a miracle.

Here are a few examples of Awkward Girl in Action . . .

1) I managed to hit myself in the face with a brick when I was three.  It was hanging from a tree in our front yard and I was pushing it away from myself then catching it as it swung back . . . until I got distracted and . . .the rest is history.  Even at the tender age of three Awkward Girl was already beginning to develop.

2) Much later in life, I would manage to lock my keys in the car three times in one day, two different vehicles!

3) There’s also the time my brother and I went to a matinee in Portland and all the firefighters were outside in the theatre parking lot washing their trucks (literally hundreds of hunky fire-fighting men in all their fireman glory) and I was staring at them so intently I didn’t notice the cement bordered median until I’d fallen flat on my face and skidded about three feet.  I was walking so quickly I actually completely broke my shoe!!!  Not my finest moment.

So now that you’re all familiar, I’m happy to let you know that whether I’m blogging or not, Awkward Girl continues to thrive.  Just yesterday I managed to lose my debit card three different times over the course of two hours.  At one point having to explain to our waitress at Porter’s that we wouldn’t be able to pay until we found it (it was in the driveway of our new place of all places!).

And not two full days ago I lost my phone and found it the next day in the driveway where it had spent the night in the rain.  I haven’t even tried to turn it back on yet and see whether or not it works.

Last, but certainly not least, I started a new job last week and today we were filling out a worksheet on one of the computer systems we’ll be using and I answered an entire three part question as if a CPAP was a PAP Smear . . . it is in fact not a PAP Smear but rather a breathing machine.  After sharing my answer with the entire class, they were totally silent, until a guy across the room said, “Um, I got something completely different.”  Awesome.

As always, I’m sure there will be more to follow.  : )